Diversity, meaning of life

It’s just gone. Fuck. I hate it. I wrote it for nearly forty minutes and it’s just gone. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. fuck. i hate this bullshit.

So I’ve just wanted to write about which makes me still alive. And this is diversity. If i don’t get my daily doses of diversity I just fall back to be easily distracted and getting easily bored. But if i got new and new inputs, then I feel vivid and more.

In order to get something diverse I have to get a normal job, which makes enough money to live to my passions, such as travelling or music. I have to be able to have a job, or a profession, where I can get back after my stupid actions and make enough money to go on. Just like a drug.


Oh, I wrote more than a page, and it’s just gone. Damn it. There I wrote about that all of these thoughts are a results of a long flow, long talks with my boss [who sometimes acts like an uncle I never had] and my parents. And this is crazy. Crazy because I have to realise [now, after some changes to BE spelling option it’s fine] that architecture is not this kind of job. In order to do and design, what you would like to do – at least in 1%, you have to gain some reputation. And reputation is not gained in two days. You have to sit there, at the same desk and firm for years. And I think it wouldn’t fit me. But how the hell I should know? How? Never tried it before. Maybe just experience, based on my recent work? Probably yes.

And I wrote also about the connection between my mother language, Hungarian, and the way I think. My boss said if I write in English, I can not think in Hungarian, because it’s just going to result some really confusing sentences, which needing further explanation. Crazy, but true, I got the same feeling and experience in Canada, when I’ve tried to submit my essay, to my teacher, who got really confused about my sentences. I had to explain one sentence in three or four. So now I’m starting to get the idea of being understandable.

I hate doing things again and again. This is the reason I’m not going to rewrite the whole post. But it was so nice and detailed. Damn it . adskowajfdasdfjfjáq fuck it. and yes, i do give more than two single flying fuck.




About yorkketchikan

I'm just a boy from Europe, as i was told. I'm young, but not for so far, it's not fair -i know it. This isn't my native language, but i'm trying. Started this one for no better purposes than writing in English, because lots of things come to my mind at first in English, sometimes it's disturbing, sometimes not. I love books, rather said: fond of them. I'm not alike anyone else, maybe this is the main problem, not following the mainstream.... If you corner me, I will come out swinging, taking you with me to the seventh hell of the seventh hell. View all posts by yorkketchikan

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: