If I’m not going to post about this event, that my whole blogging would be useless and pointless. Though many things seems meaningless to me. But this is how it is. Yes, maybe I should/could change. But don’t know if I’m capable of it.
I’m on the doorstep of a new relationship.
And I realised, that this time I don’t have to choose. I never should have choose between friendship and relationship.
I wrote her the following: If I choose you, I don’t have to choose. And this made me so happy, because it happened, I had this question in mind, before I met her again, in real life.
How we come so close, during several messages, and hours and hours of phone conversations, is a kind of a miracle to me. But I like it so much. I think the basis was, that both of us was sincere and totally open-minded to the other. She answered all of my questions, though she said that most of it was never told to anybody else. I felt the same way, safe and comfortable. Just on my side we had a conversation of 3 hours 46 minutes duration, and it was after we talked previously another hour. We did it for three consecutive nights. And it was amazing, I never got knew so many things about one person, over such a short period of time.
Now I feel like, my life is in her hands. And it makes me feel safe and calm. Like I have known her for a very very long time. And this is crazy, because just weeks ago, I had a meeting with a friend of my friend, and felt something similar. Though he was a man, with fixed goals and aim in his life. A man of grown.
And now I stepped into that house, passed through the doorstep.
I try to not change my attitude, be as it’s like the start. Might not do harm.
I’m happy ;]